Why I'm not religious anymore? Article by Stephanie Ealy

Stephanie Ealy

Do Christians make you feel like, if you don't follow Jesus then you are going to burn in Hell?

Do you feel condemned by Christians?

Do you think all Christians are whacked?

I hope I never make you feel that way or send you that message. I hope you will come to know the God I know...the God of love.

I'm not going to cram God down your throat, but I do want you to know what I believe which is dramatically different than when I was "religious." I don't consider myself "religious" anymore. I do not follow a formula, plan, or a set of rules.

Now I believe: RELIGION = RULES and RELATIONSHIP = LOVE. That is two totally different things.

You see, I used to be a very disciplined church member. I used to lead "ministries" in churches. For years and years and years that is what I did. But I don't do that anymore. Why? Have I stopped loving God? No, on the contrary. I love and sense God as much or more now than when I would "do" all those things.

Internet writing

My first internet writing job was as a copy writer for a company called Interact Media. I found the job on Craigslist and made some pretty good money fast, but I didn't like writing ghost blogs for others and seeing their names on my works of art. So, I began searching for more and that's how I came to ALLVOICES.

When I first accepted the position as a copy writer at Interact, part of the deal was to write a "Yo Expert" article that answers a question. Since I spent years reading the Bible, going to church, and leading ministries I know a lot about the Word of God. So, I chose to write about Christianity.

Here's what I believe now -- It may just change your opinion about God -- I hope you'll never be the same.

My "Yo Expert" question was: Should being a Christian consist of following certain rules, rituals, and schedules?

Have you ever observed or witnessed a functional, healthy family led by an excellent father? That is the picture one should have in their mind regarding the daily life of being a Christian. God is the perfect father who unconditionally loves his every child uniquely and individually. In fact, the Bible specifically points out this truth in 2 Corinthians 6:18--it reads, "I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." He only wants the best for his sons or daughters. He wants all to develop into everything he created and designed them to be-- nothing more or less. He desires each of his children to receive his love, grow, and love others.

Many accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and immediately begin by setting up rules to follow. These individuals may adopt the works, performance, and programs mentality. This is the idea that certain tasks must be completed each day in a certain way to gain God's acceptance and/or approval. For example, some may wake up early to spend time with God, read their Bible, and pray. They might feel if they do not perform this routine, the exact method, each morning their behavior will not satisfy God.

In Matthew 11:28-30 while Jesus is teaching the Galileans he says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Some may attend weekly church services and feel they must sign up and remain involved in ministries and/or programs or they will not receive God's endorsement. Once again the rules start slithering into the Christ follower's mindset. This frame of mind is extremely dangerous as it may become the norm. A judgmental disposition of other's not involved in a similar manner may cause disgust. A superior attitude may develop and permeate the masses.

Next, a legalistic attitude of condemnation for others is likely to develop toward anyone who is not marching to their beat. In Luke 5:30, it says, "But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?"

Some attend churches with the same Sunday morning rituals, some are cutting edge with all the latest videos, dramas, and props. Some meet in homes, some in huge flashy facilities, and some have church wherever they are in that moment or at that time in any given day. Whatever your choice is be sure your heart is to love God, love others, and follow in his personal will for your life.

If you are leading or participating in a church that feels more like a work farm, a competitive corporation, or a social club ask yourself "Why am I here? If you are feeling exhausted, persecuted, and manipulated ask yourself, "Why am I here?" If you are feeling drawn or compelled to worship in a different capacity ask yourself, "What is stopping me?"

Listen to that still small voice, reject people pleasing, and go or stay where you sense a peace that passes understanding. No rules, rituals, and schedules needed. No need to say that church is too wild, that one is too boring, or that one is too flashy. No need to say, "I have to be there at that time each week or else God will be mad at me."

Each place has its purpose if allowed to be led by God. When Christ is truly ruling in your heart you can have church anywhere, anytime, and in any capacity and say, "It is well with my soul." That does not mean you will not face persecution, don't be surprised if the very people who call themselves your brothers and sisters treat you the worst. The same thing happened to Jesus.

What would you do if someone gave their all for you, risked their life for you? You would look up to that person, you would sense a need to do whatever they wanted, and you'd want to thank them. God loved us first and continues to shower us with blessings, joy, and peace in spite of our issues and mistakes. So, relax, enjoy life, and live each day asking God for help, guidance, and direction. Remember we are human "beings" not human "doings." God will gladly help you in your time of need, give you wisdom when you ask, and direct your path when you require a map.

Our Heavenly Father will teach you anything you are ready to learn. If you do feel like reading your Bible everyday at a certain time, then by all means do it. Make sure it is out of a desire to read the love letter our heavenly father left for us rather than making it a rule and/or regimen. If you feel drawn to attend church weekly and sign up for ministries, programs, and studies--then go for it! Always check and make certain your desires are out of love and appreciation for God, rather than fear of punishment.

As you receive God's love, learn, and grow you will effortlessly begin transforming into a whole new person with completely different priorities, desires, and motives. No need to set up a list of rules, rituals, and schedules to imprison yourself. As a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, self centeredness begins to dissipate. Naturally a tendency to give develops and you may become a bit surprised by your new desires, thoughts, and behaviors. Miraculously, you want to help others. You'll be drawn to spend time with your new family more, and journey in the greatest adventure of all, eternal life in Christ. Before you know it, you will come to the realization--being a Christian is being FREE.